I’m not in pain, so let’s just talk about something light.

About a year ago I started salsa dancing! I can’t believe it’s been that long. I can’t tell you how much a benefit it’s been to my life. I gained some friends out of it and I’ve really come a long way as far as technique. I can still remember how hot and sweaty, and daunting that first class was!

Yet, I’m still an insecure dancer. I guess I can’t stay in Beginner-land forever, although it would probably do tons for my ego to feel ‘good’ or ‘great’ as opposed to ‘OK’. My fellow intermediate classmates do have some patience with me somehow and that helps, but I had a couple weeks where I felt like I was in my performance class again. I was just trying to hold it together because I have this ideal of being a really good dancer. And — of course — I naturally compare myself to others.

To backtrack, I first did salsa my freshmen year of college. It’s almost an afterthought now because it feels like ages ago and I’m pretty sure I was terrible. Maybe mentally I’m suppressing those images. My roomie at the time, a latina, was the sweetest for not laughing at me.I didn’t do salsa again until 2010 when my cousin, who is fluent in Spanish and the ways of Spanish men (just saying), offered to take me out when I visited her in Oklahoma. I was equally as bad as I was the first time I’d done it, but not awful. And I had a partner who I would refer to now as “spin-crazy.” He was one of those leads who wants to spin you in as many directions and ways as possible, thus making the basic step only optional. I could have been walking sideways up a wall for all he cared, he was going to spin me regardless. I think that’s when I was bitten with the “salsa bug” because I had a blast that night. It was seeing my cousin so happy, and perhaps my own little euphoria.

It still took a year for me to take classes. I just frequented Brasils, a salsa spot, here in Philly. I would go with church members and it became a weekly event. It even produced some memorable nights: New Years Eve and the night the professional gambler hit on me). I always apologized to my partner before I danced with them in those days: “Sorry, just to let you know in advance, I’m a beginner.” I was like a broken record. I kept telling friends I would eventually take some classes though, ’cause I couldn’t stand not being able to keep up with the Advanced crowd that swept through the club around midnight. Sometimes we’d be holding up the wall the entire night! I now know that at times you have to ask men to dance, but those nights only made me want to learn more. When people came in speaking fluently in Spanish, I used to say dancing was done for the night for me.

Anyway, I did take the plunge. This was around the time I was driving our hoopty – my ’94 Saturn SL, may she rest in peace. I was late for class, but I got there.

Fast forward a year. I’ve done a performance class (best times of my life) and improved to Intermediate level. Yay! It’s funny to me that there are some salsa concepts I’m just not getting still, such as the evasive “tension” I keep getting coached on. Every man needs a little more “tension” when I dance with him. It has something to do with the shoulder and arm, but I always confuse it as the fingers like, “You want tension? I’ll just tighten up and pull your fingers off.” I’m still trying to figure it out a year later. I’m hoping that and a couple other salsa concepts will come to me like a EUREKA moment!

I will say, I struggled quite long with my right turn and my left turn, and simple things like checks and keeping my free arm up. These things are like second nature now, so I can only hope tension (and double spins) are like that soon.

With salsa, as much as they tell you to apply certain techniques in class, they also at the same time tell you to feel the music and let your body be free to do what it does. Despite that being a mixed message at times to me, I’m going to go with that organic, feel-the-music route and see where it takes me. I still love salsa dancing so much, no matter how analytical I get with it times!